Why Most People Approach Networking Backwards (And How to Fix It)

Most people approach networking all wrong.

They show up to events, meet new people, exchange business cards… and then?

They wait.

Wait for someone to reach out.
Wait for a sale to magically happen.
Wait for the networking gods to deliver results.

The problem?

Networking doesn’t work on a “meet → wait → win” model.

It works on an intentional system.

The Backwards Networking Trap

I see this mistake all the time:

1️⃣ People focus too much on making new connections.
2️⃣ But they forget to nurture the connections they already have.

The truth?

Your next big opportunity isn’t in the new people you meet.

It’s in the people who already know you.

But here’s the problem.

They may not know or trust you enough (yet) to refer to you, buy from you, or open doors for you.

And if you’re only chasing new connections, while ignoring your existing ones, you’re running on what I call the networking treadmill:

Constant motion, but no real progress.

How to Fix It (The 3-Part System)

Want to turn your network into a high-value asset?

Use this simple three-part strategy:

1️⃣ Reconnect

Dig through your old contacts—past clients, colleagues, people you’ve met at events.

Most of them haven’t forgotten you.

They just haven’t heard from you.

Shoot a quick message:

• “Hey [Name], it’s been a while! How’s everything going your end? What you currently working on?”
• “Hi [Name], checking in to see how things are. When we last met we spoke about [what you spoke about] - how’s that progress? Or what’s the latest?”
• “Hi [Name], I saw [something relevant to them]. Thought of you—hope you’re doing well!”

Low effort. High impact.

2️⃣ Add Value Before Asking for Anything

Before you ask for something, give something.

• Share a relevant article or insight.
• Introduce them to someone valuable.
• Congratulate them on a recent win.

Explore using the 3 C’s approach I’ve previously written about for inspiration and a repeatable process.

This keeps you top of mind—in a good way.

3️⃣ Follow Up Like a Pro

Most networking fails because people don’t follow up consistently.

It’s not about chasing people.

It’s about staying relevant.

• Set a reminder to check in every few months.
• Engage with their content on LinkedIn.
• Send a simple, friendly “just checking in” message.

Or simply follow the weekly 12-4-1 Follow Up Framework.

A simple 20 minutes per week exercise your future self will thank you for doing.

The Wrap Up

If you want to win at networking, stop treating it like a numbers game.

It’s not about how many new people you meet.

It’s about how well you activate the network you already have.

Today, pick 3 people in your network you haven’t spoken to in the last 3-6 months.

Send them a quick message. Expecting nothing in return.

Rinse a repeat.

And watch conversations and doors start opening up.

Happy networking!