The White Flag Approach To Leaving Conversations

Read time: 2 minutes & 44 seconds

Leaving conversations is hard.

Having dedicated edition #17 to this very topic.

But I’ve since learned about a new approach to help leave conversations.

Thanks to Matt Abrahams, a strategic communications lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business.

The method gives you an out in a conversation before you actually leave it.

Saving you the awkwardness or anxiety of figuring out how to do so without seeming rude.

Unfortunately, many get stuck in conversations too long because they are afraid to leave.

Or don’t know how to excuse themselves.

Wasting valuable time that could be spent networking with other guests.

Not many know this one, I certainly didn’t.

We’ve all used the classics to leave conversations:

• “I need to get another coffee”
• “I have to go to the bathroom”

This approach saves you from needing to do so.

The ‘White Flag Approach’ helps you prime your conversation exit.

An approach inspired by motor racing.

Where before the last lap, a white flag is waved to signal to drivers they are approaching the end of the race.

As you’re drawing to the end of a conversation (or wanting to draw it to an end), you can take a similar approach.

No, I’m not suggesting you wave a white flag.

Although the thought of looking across a networking event with a bunch of attendees waving white flags is an image that’s brought a wry smile to my face.

Instead, your White Flag Approach moment comes in the form of a signal, followed by a final question or comment.

First, the signal. This is your get out.

For example:

• “I need to go in a moment, but…”
• “I promised to say hi to someone so need to move on, but…”
• “There’s someone I’ve got to catch up with so need to go, but…”

Then, you follow it with one last question, feedback or comment to finish up.

It might sound something like this:

“I need to get going as there’s someone I’d planned to catch up with, but before I go, I want to know a little bit more about that project you were telling me about.”

Or

“I promised to see someone before I leave so need to move on, but tell me more about the trip to America you recently went on? What was your favourite part?”

So you continue the conversation naturally.

But everyone knows then it’s coming to an end.

Rather than you saying abruptly; “oh, I need to go to the bathroom”.

Meaning together, you can draw the conversation to a close.

The Wrap Up

Stress at leaving conversations no more.

Try it at your next event.

This method will be one of many included in the ‘At An Event’ lesson in The Networkers Playbook digital course (launching Q1 24).

Signal. Final question or comment. Leave.

Easy.

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